is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
