I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
