Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
