Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if only i could text you this smell
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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