she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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