i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
