I smell stomach acid.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We need to get me chipped asap
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
