So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize