Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
as a side note pls kill me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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