Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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