I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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