I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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