I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize