Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize