Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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