Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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