Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
