he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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