Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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