dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize