He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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