How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize