so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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