I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
