If that was your dad, he is hot
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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