I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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