but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
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Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
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I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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