She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
