$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
this is an emotional support booty call
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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