He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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