sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
