He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
