In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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