I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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