when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
