When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
