Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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