fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize