did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
