All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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