I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
