I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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