i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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