I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
