I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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