We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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