You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
