Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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