What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
