smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
