White coat. Heels.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?