somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS