I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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