Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?

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(410): I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this? http://tfl.nu/lrwi

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(281): View more from Texas

On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

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(281): On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do? http://tfl.nu/4exj

Replies (48) Good night (1544) Bad night (6039)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.

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(843): Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way. http://tfl.nu/hex7

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness

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(505): I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness http://tfl.nu/jgsm

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.

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(609): I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds. http://tfl.nu/dlpp

Replies (5) Good night (1464) Bad night (984)
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(619): View more from California

You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.

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(619): You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos. http://tfl.nu/prke

Replies (7) Good night (2131) Bad night (641)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.

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(303): Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend. http://tfl.nu/4mef

Replies (3) Good night (1588) Bad night (519)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!

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(660): I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification! http://tfl.nu/z1dt

Replies (5) Good night (1127) Bad night (532)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.

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(412): I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day. http://tfl.nu/3m26

Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (822)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.

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(919): so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow... (1-919): I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that. http://tfl.nu/ee0c

Replies (0) Good night (1878) Bad night (489)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.

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(808): It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend. http://tfl.nu/kmmx

Replies (5) Good night (1019) Bad night (484)
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(716): View more from New York

You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will

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(716): You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will http://tfl.nu/h8xm

Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (784)
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(519): View more from Ontario

The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"

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(519): The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING" http://tfl.nu/92g2

Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (264)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record

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(614): I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record http://tfl.nu/iop1

Replies (3) Good night (569) Bad night (341)
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(979): View more from Texas

The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.

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(979): The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB. http://tfl.nu/sezq

Replies (1) Good night (936) Bad night (221)

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