Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize