Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
