Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
