Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
