i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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