I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
