i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
